As we celebrate our freedom and enjoy our holiday (actually most of us are happier for holiday than freedom! Aren’t we?), can we use this day to stop for a while and ask ourselves, “Are we really free?”
Free from our compulsions, free from our mind who stops us to grow, free from our social bondage which confines us within the known periphery.
But why such compulsions on us? Why can’t we do things which we want to? And choose not to do things which we do not feel is right? Well, the only person who is stopping you from doing what you want to do is none other than the very loving ‘You’. But why do we stop ourselves from doing what we love to do? We often have fear of the unknown, we are scared of going out of our comfort zone etc etc. But basically, our dear ‘mind’ wants to keep us safe. But the problem is that by keeping our self in the safe zone we can’t grow! Just like we won’t like to keep our best car always in the garage just to keep it safe from any accident. You can enjoy the car only when it roars to speed, that’s what it is manufactured for! Aren’t we created to do greater things than we think we can?!
People call me crazy girl because I do not listen to and challenge the social norms quite often. Let me confess, now I really enjoy crossing my barriers! I am brought up in a family where girls were not allowed to travel alone, advised not to talk to boys, basically not to do anything by themselves except house chores. I remember the incident when the first time I have decided to go to the nearby city for some work knowing that the request will be denied. That was ‘The day’ in my life, my mother was weeping, and my brother was scolding me for not listening to elders. My dad is cool!
But anyhow I have managed to go ahead and I went out of my city with my elder sister. We have taken the early morning train, went to another city, navigated the city by asking strangers (we didn’t have google maps back then), completed our work and returned back to home by night.
When I came back my mother was normal but anxiously asking all type of questions and we have informed how we have navigated, enjoyed, done our work and returned back home safely. That was the first girls out day in my life. After that my mother’s confidence in me has raised and she has asked to go shopping in that city with me! And then it has become a routine, whenever we need to do some good shopping, we used to catch the morning train and come back by night. It may seem to be no big deal to a few people, but for a 17–18 years girl from a small town it was a big deal. Society was created for human beings to grow together and not vice versa!
When I look back, I realize that if I would have not taken that small step that day, how my life would have been. At that moment by seeing my mother weeping I was little indecisive and have thought not to go, but then next moment I understood that this is not about consoling her, it’s about breaking a barrier, which will take me to places in future. If not now then never! What I have learnt that day was a few of the very important lessons of my life:
- When you feel you are right do not give in to circumstances, they may seem big at that moment but they are not.
- Always put your point firmly, you don’t need to shout or fight. Remember, the person in front of you always assess how firm you are in your decision and then respond. They will give in if you are strong for the right cause but vice versa is also true if you are not strong.
- Always put across examples of others to prove your point and convince people instead of arguing. People will understand, don’t feel they are idiots and the only person who is right is ‘Myself’.
- Once successful in your target, people will respect, follow you and seek your advice.
But freedom is not about doing whatever we want, it brings lots of responsibility in itself. It challenges us to improve and grow further to be a better person because there are many eyes looking towards you, waiting for you to be successful and set an example for them to follow you.Free-flowing water (mind) help us to navigate easily, but a small iceberg (negative thoughts) can lead to disaster (living a life we don’t want)!!
But apart from external factors (social bondage etc), the bigger problem is our own mind! Mind sets up a comfortable zone for us to support our survival and most of us do not see beyond that boundary. Even if things are in front of us we can’t understand that it can bring fortune to us! How to get free from these mental barriers? You have to trap your mind and reprogram it! Just like a small kid, engage it somewhere else and do whatever you want to do. For example, if I want to eat healthy food, ask your mind, “After eating unhealthy food, will I feel good?” Of course, the answer will be, “No”. Then command/ program your mind to remind you this whole day! Job has done, you will not even feel like eating unhealthy food because now focus of your mind is shifted from tongue to your after-effects of food! Easy na! Just requires little practice as we need it for all things related to mind.
For the start, simple things like watching inspirational movies, reading biographies of successful people can do wonders. There was a time when I used to be totally devastated and couldn’t understand what’s going on with my life? My books were the only guide which has helped me to get a new perspective to life. But mind works with the principle of “Garbage In Garbage Out”. Whatever, you feed to your mind it will give you similar projections in life and hence your life.
So, before you go to watch the next movie or read any random book, Think! What you are going to feed to your mind! Will your mind take you to freedom or towards a new addiction after reading or watching it?
f : @backtowellbeing @wellbeingbyanu
Email: voiceofanu@gmail.com
